You did what?!?

I frequently have to deal with patients that have either tried to commit suicide or are thinking about doing so.  Some of these situations are very sad, but others are frustrating because I have seen the people multiple times previously and it feels that they are just looking for attention.  There are the serious attempts with weapons and overdoses which can be very sticky situations.

The other day I saw Mr. DePressed.  He had recently discharged from a mental health institute for severe depression.  When he got out, he found out that his daughter had been killed in a car accident.  This would cause anyone some serious mental anguish.  His response was to try to kill himself.  He came in for help after his attempt.  He told me that he had just swallowed about 60 thumb tacks.  I had to ask him again to make sure that I had heard him correctly.  This was not something that I had encountered previously.  I ordered an x-ray to see if this was indeed the case, and if so, any internal damage was evident.  When I looked at the x-ray, there was indeed several metallic objects in the stomach that looked like tacks.

Mr. DePressed did not succeed in killing himself from this.  He did earn himself a trip to the operating room to have them removed.  He did earn himself a lot of attention however.  While his x-ray was up on the monitor, there were multiple people that were very willing to comment on the image and what type of person would do something like that.  All I can tell you is that tack swallowing is not the most efficient way to go.  It is very creative though!

That doesn't look right!!

The other night as I was working on some charts, I heard screaming coming from the ambulance entrance.  "The baby's coming!  The baby's coming!!"

I hurried outside to see a very frantic woman running around a car screaming.  Most of what she said was completely incoherent.  All of the doors of the car were opened.  There was a pair of legs sticking out of the passenger's door.  This does indeed happen every once in a while.

After getting Miss Frantik to settle down enough to breathe, I found out that the other woman's water had just broke and she was about 6 months pregnant.  I went to the car to find another very anxious woman.  I quickly looked to see if there was a baby, and there was not.

We quickly got her on a cart and got her inside.  Now that there was some light and I could see better what was going on, I took another look to see if I was going to have to deliver a baby right there in the hallway.  As the lady spread her legs, a tiny little foot popped out at me.

Now, for those of you who know nothing about the process of delivery, the foot is not what you should she first.  It should be a big round head, not a skinny little appendage with 5 little toes.

This is a situation that is not best dealt with in the ER.  So, one nurse started pushing the cart as another nurse ran on one side with me on the other toward labor and delivery.  Luckily, this was late at night and the halls were abandoned, although I am sure that the lady woke at least half of the hospital during our journey.  We were able to get her to labor and delivery prior to her delivering any other portion of the baby.  At that time I more than willingly let the obstetrician take over and quickly went back to my domain!!!

Dealing with Death

Working in the Emergency Department, there are times when things really are life or death.  A lot of times rapid diagnoses are made and treatment implemented that help to stabilize and save a patient's life.  Other times, things don't go so well and the patient passes away.  That is something that I have had to learn to deal with as part of my job.  The hardest part about it, is having to go and talk with the family members and let them know about the passing of a loved one.  By far, the worst part of my job.

This week, unfortunately, I have had to deal with the passing of a family member.  I wish that my ER training was good enough to let me know how to better deal with that.  At work, there is always another patient in need of help to take your mind off of what just happened and to make you move on.  When it is a family member, you cannot just move on and forget about it.  It becomes a permanent part of your life that has to be dealt with differently.  When I have to go and talk with a family, I usually don't have much support around me.  At least at this time, there are others that are also affected.  We can help support each other as we move forward in the new life that has been handed to us.

Working Environment

To the gentleman sitting and waiting in the hall next to my work station:

I am extremely happy that you are not complaining about the length of your wait or demanding more pain medication, but....

I am not here to become your friend.  I will not tell you about myself in all the details that you want.

I will not diagnose all of the problems that your family has, despite how interesting you may think that they are.

I do not want to hear about all of your other doctors or give you my opinion about whether they are competent or not.

If you haven't already noticed, there are a lot of other people that are here, and they are much sicker than you are with your toothache.  If you can talk as much as you are, your tooth probably isn't really that bad.  Of course, I'm not going to say that to your face!!

Sincerely,
WhatsupDOC

A Question of Health

WhatsupDOC:  Do you smoke, sir?

Mr Raspy:  No.

WhatsupDOC:  Did you ever?

Mr Raspy:  Yeah, but I quit.

WahtsupDOC:  Good for you.  How long ago?

Mr Raspy:  Three minutes.


Oh the self restraint!!

Who's YOUR Daddy?

Conversation that I overheard while suturing the finger of a different patient.  Luckily, my patient didn't speak english, so she didn't know what was going on behind the adjacent curtain.  I never saw this other patient, but it was amusing none the less.

"Hi Daddy, it's me.  I'm at the hospital....

Yeah, I'm doing OK.  Daddy, can you come pick me up?

My name is Michelle....

They wouldn't let me check in under Miss Trickalicious.  They made me use my real name....

I know Daddy, but you need to ask for me by my real name when you get here....

I should be fine to go out and work tonight, Daddy.  I may need some of the other girls to help me with my hair and make-up though....

No, I can still go and work for us tonight, Daddy; even with a broken arm....

Daddy, will come get me now?"

Maybe it's just me, but you would think that your own pimp Daddy would know your real name.

The start of a blog

Over the past several months, I have had many people ask me about things that happen in my life.  This mainly relates to the crazy and amusing things that I encounter at work in the Emergency Department.  I have tried to find a way to make it easy for lots of people to hear these tales and finally decided that this was probably the best way to do it.

Names, dates and some locations will be changed to protect everyone's legal and ethical rights to privacy.  Please, feel free to comment on the stories and other things posted here, but please also repect these rights and do not identify anyone in the stories if you know the true identity of anyone portrayed here.

Please enjoy (or excuse) the many rants that I can perceive being posted here.  There are many things that happen that irritate me and so they may end up here as well.  All of this makes the ER what it is and that makes up a good portion of my life.  Some of the things that I encounter are just too wacky and unbelievable not to share.

Happy readings, and please make sure and let me know what you think!!